“Can someone please stop this ride?! I want to get off!!!”

Why does life have to be such a roller coaster....isn't there a nice mellow boat ride through a place filled with bright colors and lots of cute little characters dancing about and singing "It's a small world after all...?” At least that’s what Disney Land prepared me for as a young girl… I’d like to hitch a ride on that boat please?!!? But alas, I guess that really only exists at Disney Land after all…. No one ever told me life was supposed to be easy, yet somehow, there is STILL something within me that screams, this isn’t how it should be!! Isn't that what we all really want...the easy button?! Whether we choose to admit it or not, what we all would really prefer is the constant happiness with no bumps in the road. And, if we are honest with ourselves, there is still a childlike perspective buried within each of us …it’s the one that shouts, “This isn’t fair!!!” And isn’t that what breeds such discontentment in our daily lives…the quest for utopia?! And while we know that ride doesn’t really exist here in the “real world”, we somehow still have that as our expectation. Are we in denial?

If life is truly more like a roller coaster than a ferry boat ride….Why do the sudden drops after the long ascensions to the high heights still catch me by surprise? Stealing my breath away and sweeping my feet out from under me (and not in the good way either!) God change my heart…where do I go for healing in this area? Why do the sudden drops still feel like I won’t ever recover? Why do the sudden drops still feel so harsh? And how am I to handle them? I’m stuck on a roller coaster…and I want to get off…and no matter how much I try to prepare myself, the highs and lows still consume me too much. Yet, I never once complain when I’m riding the highs…This has to be the epitome of dissatisfaction, holding on to a hope for a reality that will never exist. And I think that is where we all find ourselves--too consumed with the suddenness of the highs and lows. If we know we are on a roller coaster, and that is a fact, then the highs and lows are a natural part of the adventure, let’s get over the shock of that and  focus on the overall experience, not the individual hills! I don’t ever recall being on a roller coaster at Six Flags and being surprised by the ups and downs…

So it is time to come to terms with reality…I am on a roller coaster…Now what do I do with that?! If the easy life doesn’t exist, then maybe it is time to get rid of that expectation once and for all and replace it with what IS within my grasp…the quest for the abundant life. After all, God does promise that, right? At least that’s what I’ve heard lots of Christians say….So then what does that look like? What does that mean? Abundant life? Well as I study more and more, I think it may finally be sinking in that the “abundant life” looks a whole lot more like soul wellness… wholeness within…rather than “the easy or "God-blessed” circumstantial life. because quite frankly, we can’t control much of what takes place “without”, but we do have the ability to influence the “within” by exposing it to that which brings life and “soul-wellness”.

This is the new soul journey I am embarking on….throwing out my unrealistic expectations and embracing the truth about what IS within reach…Like I said, I’m embarking on this journey, therefore, I do not have the answers to my questions! So I’ll keep you updated as God shows me what this looks like in day to day life…what I know for now is this…God wants to tend to what is within me…He is much less concerned with arranging what is “outside of me” to make my soul comfortable and supremely concerned with restoring what is “within” me to experience the abundant—whole... well—life. I’m going to get started on figuring out what God DOES promise, rather than fighting for what I think He should have promised…So while I may not be certain about anything else today, I am certain that it makes no sense to hold to something we know for a fact will never materialize, now to find what to replace that with...I know the answer is truth, I just need to know the specific truths to cling to...because holding on to something that is promised to never exist is a fool proof recipe for experiencing discouragement, dissappointment, and defeat...and I'd rather find joy.

Your fellow sojourner,

Dennika